Rachel L. Graves

 

Rachel casting her vote in the Chilean national election.

Hailing from the land of Chile, known for its rice and fresh cilantro, Rachel (meaning: fragrance) always stood out from her surroundings - - in more ways than one. Her exact birthplace / birth date are debated, but does it really matter people? She’s beautiful and you know you love her.

To really understand Rachel and all her glory, we’re going to have to trek back to the beginning….

Rachel’s father, Jean Claude Van Graves – originally from the U.S. of A. – was an important Comanche chief and the last leader of the powerful Quahadi band before they surrendered a battle at the Great Plains. This unforeseen loss caused Jean Claude to uproot his family, consisting of five wives and 25 children, and move to a small Chilean village in the Andes Mountans, where they resided for a number of years. While there, he and his family taught the natives all they needed to know about America: pizza, soccer and Pogs.

Rachel has two older blood-related siblings, both of whom are models and/or actors. Her brother Pecos (pecan) and sister, Topsana (prairie flower) played a large role in Rachel’s development and soon all Rachel talked about was “making it big” in America. The siblings formed a comedic trio and quickly outgrew their weekly gypsy gatherings. Within a week, Rachel convinced her family to leave to the village and swim back to America.

Being the most passionate and vocal member of the family, Rachel led the excursion carrying only a box of matches, a Hello Kitty notebook and pickles. “Life’s essentials,” as she called them. 

Unfortunately, Rachel took a wrong turn and ended up in Mississippi instead of California. Realizing the entire state had absolutely nothing to offer, Rachel immediately left her family and moved to Nashville. She began her career as a child fashion model before making her motion picture debut in Disney's 1998 remake of "The Parent Trap" at the age of 11. Unfortunately, her fame grew faster than her maturity level and her career was abruptly derailed a few years later with two DUIs and three visits to drug rehabilitation facilities.

In an effort to regain her artist spirit, Rachel travelled the world as merchant and rickshaw driver from 2007 to 2009. She often found herself in Bolivia and Thailand selling coin purses made of plastic bags, touting her trade as a campaign against the “unnecessary use of plastic bags.” 

Resuming her career in 2010, she guest starred in hit the TV series "Flavor of Love" and as an extra in the critically acclaimed drama, "August Rush." Feeling that she needed a little more out of life, she moved to New York City where she currently sits in parks as a form of art.

Scott Russell Dixon

Born in Kansas City in 1970, he prefers to go by Scot, finding the extra T excessive and an overall bore. Dixon's early education consisted of about 18 months of classes from several itinerant teachers; he was mostly self-educated and was an avid reader. Very tall and strong, adolescent Scot was handy with an axe and became a talented local wrestler, which imbued him with self-confidence. Scot pursued his love for candy necklaces, whoopee cushions and teddy bears by taking a part-time job at the local Dollar Tree as a greeter. He loved the long hours in his leisure suit. On the weekends young Dixon spent his days roaming the wilderness, hunting his own game, and chasing after his anarchist dreams. 

Since graduating with a degree in taxidermy from Waco University, Scot has traveled the world in search of the perfect prawn cracker. His journey landed him in "the Sas", Japan where he would spend a large portion of his early adulthood molding the minds of young children. He also did a few side gigs as a model for Gateway computers. 

 As a result of several bad experiences during his travels, Dixon had not flown on an airplane since the mid-late 1990s, traveling instead via a personal bus. In April 2009, Scot flew to London for the first time as a result of taking a ten hour course with Virgin Atlantic Airlines. He now builds model airplanes out of old coke containers (cans, bottles, caps, etc). He sells them on ebay. 

He currently works as an ad-hoc reporter for a Japanese news station in New York City and one day plans to own a plantain farm. He thinks the rent is too damn high.

Priscilla A. White

Priscilla in traditional South Carolinian costume

Priscilla comes from the noble lineage of the White family of the River Thames' East Bank. The Whites first crossed the Atlantic in 1567, but were immediately disgusted by the lack of proper hot cross bunneries. They returned in 1676 as a practical joke on their uptight parish. Unfortunately, no one quite understood their humour and they stayed in the colonies for good.

Priscilla, which comes from the proto Indo-European roots "Prees Ella", means "one who leaves one purse everywhere". Besides leaving her purse in a plethora of environments, Priscilla enjoys a wide range of leisure activities. Interested in midwifery from the first time she strolled into the birthing unit of the local hospital, Priscilla scaled Mount Everest at the age of 15 to assist a Sherpa in giving birth on the sacred peak. Other hobbies include: fairy garden rat parties, taking showers loud enough to warrant a noise complaint, falling asleep and just being fabulous.

Priscilla's education remains an important part of her everyday life. She lives by the philosophy "If you ain't learned it, you doesn't know it." Priscilla speaks fluent Greek, Hebrew and Baylor. Along with foreign languages, another passion of hers in the classroom is yellow chalk dust.

Priscilla moved to New York several years ago to pursue a career in being awesome. The job is very demanding and requires at least ten hours per day of being awesome. She enjoys her job but would really like the freedom to wear pleats or pastel flannel when she wishes.

Priscilla is the official social media and PR chair of the Prigsons. We are still trying to figure out what either of those things mean.

She's not a witch. She's nothing you've heard. She's you.